Sunday, May 1, 2011

Operation "Hot Tamale!"

OK this one will again be controversial but I have come up with a real solution to the economy and immigration all at the same time (with a Post Office bonus on top of that).  Most would not undertake comprehensive reform on a such a grand scale but that is what sets this plan apart from all the rest.  Big solutions for big problems I say.  OK, here is the plan...

We need to immediately focus our entire military and domestic might on a quick invasion of Mexico.  That’s right, I said it, America Invades Mexico!  Ola mi amigo! 

I call it OPERATION: Hot Tamale.  Now before you go getting all politically correct and reject this idea out of turn, hear me out.  I think I can make a great case for this. 

Right now in the State of Texas they (we) are spending $25 billion to build a fence across less than 100% of the border.  While the “hole” in this fence plan is obvious, it is being done to make a political statement that we need to do something.  Combine that with the fact that 60+% of the “illegals” in American are from Mexico and the “fence lobby” and you can see why we might have gone off track.  But forget all that for just a minute.  If we invade and Mexico becomes the 51st State then we just guard that little strip of border down at the bottom around Belize and Guatemala.  How much could that cost (we can hire Mexicans duh!).  Or how about I smell states 52 & 53 and more beachfront.    Ola mas amigos!

Now certainly Mexico is a proud country and this “colonization” is not meant to take away from that or in any way demean their society, history or culture.  This is entirely about survival on planet earth as we go forward and this change in “government structure” is necessary to prepare both social economies for the challenges of the 21st Century.  This task will require great minds to figure out how to integrate the existing government structure and take the best from both to form the amalgamated Congress that goes forward, think how hugely powerful this new society (Meximerica, Amerimex?) would be?  Throw Canada and in there and you would have a world powerhouse like no other. 

OK, but I am not done yet.  Once Mexico is a “state”, we will have 50+ million more taxpayers in the system as well as all the savings in eduction and healthcare from everyone contributing. In addition to the $25B we save on a fence, the costs of immigration reform and actual enforcement (we go from 12 million illegals to 4 million overnight) are also significantly decreased.  In many places in America, life becomes safer with more pronounced community.

Another issue of the present system is the border states “narco terrorism” associated with the illegal drug trade.   And while most drugs are certainly not good for you, some are perhaps no more harmful then legal alcohol or junk food.  So I say we legalize “the weed”, and sell it as a government service (like State Liquor Stores up north).  We could tax it fairly substantially and I think the size of the industry would amaze most.  Not to mention the fact that we arrest 800,000 folks annually for smoking weed and we can refocus all that effort to something more dangerous to society (like boyfriends.. that one will make sense in a future column).

And lastly, now that we have a legalized product, we need to deliver it via the United States Postal Service (not sure what the Mexican side of this is but sure it is something similar).  This $8 BILLION a year government money loser could be saved altogether by this action (in this new future Postman are paid lots of money but have to take drug tests).  This “new product” would breathe life and prosperity back into the 1,440 convenient local post offices across  America.  And if you can wait for the mail, they will even deliver. 

I cannot even add up all the savings to society here for what is minimal risk.  Of course this plan might not be the best one but the argument I am really trying to make is we cannot continue along the old worn out paths we are.  I put something out there, what about you. 

God bless us all and Citizen Bill and his family.

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